Going it all alone: …The drive, determination and fallouts that led me to you.
I’ve spent the better part of 2020 writing my next path as it was handed to me on an invisible platter. I woke up one November — knowing I was not only ready for 2020, but the next 10. And honestly its been like that for most of the year. Untampered, strong, focused and on the right path. I felt driven, energized, picked up and in a good place.
While just behind me, somewhere in Asia; much of the world was glued to their tv screens and socials. Little we knew, life will take a full stop. And my role at work became expendable.
Ready to share my spirited journey as I uncover challenging ideas, new concepts, life hurdles and the good. Freaking ready? I am.
I started this medium to share my journey as I entered into 2020. To uncover challenging ideas, new concepts and life hurdles that I encountered across my lifetime with stories relevant in todays norms. At least that was the plan.
I had a whole calendar laid out and topics to share. A decent 24 pieces to bring to your piercing eyes and provocative minds. I knew I had to swoop up nearly 3 years of work in just a matter few weeks. June was just around the corner for me to begin sharing.
It’s October…Wait. 5 months passed and Canada just entered into its Second Wave. I’ve spent the beginning of June giving myself a refresher. Took some time off on random road trips around the city and all over the province. Nothing long. No overnighters. All day trips. Maybe the random two till 4am. I figured now that I am out of a job, I need to create a process and begin to manage my expenses better. I pulled out my phone, opened notes app and created immediate actions. Like a product flow I normally do on client projects, I put myself on a pedestal and looked hard at me like a fresh new product preparing “it” into market. To do this, I had to cut back the heavy weights.
“Is it something you want or is it something you need?
First off my list is to clean up the hard expenses. Both professional and casual. I stood at the centre of the ring. Four corners lay before me. Each carried a weight of their own and I was preparing for the fight. In one corner, I was facing the heaviest pull of all. What seemed to be only $250 a month to keep a server online for a developed platform that served no purpose than to feed my toned happy ego. Like every great entrepreneur, I could have walked away after cashing in — but I didn’t. And with it came a whole new layer of reflections. I referred back to the wise words of one of our product service design advisors, “Is it something you want or is it something you need?” lingered at the back of my throat.
I immediately reconnected to the countless hours us digesting features, building roadmaps and creating a functional platform that spoke people, engaged retailers and converted results. Recounted to those moments, I was determined to find clarity and clarity I saw.
$15 on google workspace, $79 on adobe creative cloud, $20 on dropbox, $300 on virtual assistant, $97 on a mobile plan, $45 on zoho and $104 in extended insurance. I was easily dropping $910 a month on wanting to keep a portfolio piece alive. A piece that didn’t serve any further purpose beyond my personal ego. So I stepped back again and took strategic actions moving me from a want to a need. Taking me $910 want to $225 need a month. It wasn’t an overnight task in any-bit. But that $250 a month blow, now only cost me $6 every month. A decent chunk of change in savings. A punch won with victory. And while I am at it, I published years of creative brand content — online.
Watching my father hover over his finances and tightening up his pockets, truly taught me a lot about savings.
Growing up, I had watched my father tense up over his finances with a fine needle every time his career put him through another review. He had a tough job. A job he loved very much. It was a dream career. He worked for the United Nations and was proud of it. He especially excelled under pressure from superiors. It never considered him the job that he loved the most, would drag him like a piece of meat every 6-months with worry. His colleagues eyed him like vultures, slowly picking on his role like dead carcasses. Each wanting a piece of his position. As an outsider within the family, I kept watching my father hover over his finances and tightening up his pockets, truly taught me a lot about savings. Not only preparing for a rainy day but an actual hailstorm. I had plenty in my lifetime.
Walking into 2020 was a hailstorm for most. I saved for it and glad that I did. I took my fathers technique of tensing up on his cashflow, removed the uncertainty and extra anxiety; and replaced it with a more holistic approach. Each filled with peaceful melodies. I called these monk funds. They are a series of budgets that I saved up over time. Each with their own canvas of dreams, goals and wishful thinkings. Followed by a set of rules and disciplines. All to insure that my natural human instincts don’t bite on the forbidden fruit. It was my way to never rush on purchases, unless confident with the debt I am about to take on. I only wish, I could do the same when it comes to my stocks. But that’s a story for another day.
Being at the centre of the ring, you tend to forget what’s behind. That sudden shove. The push. That late July, I was hammered a by a series of pushes. One after another after another. I dropped a few times. Got up and dropped again and with lots of will, hulk myself backup. The heaviest one of all, was the loss of my uncle. My fathers’ closest brother. It was a tough time for the entire family. Rushed to the hospital and unable to see him. He was life itself, a gentle soul — loved by everyone and anyone. Losing him made me think of the relationship I have with my father and how the death of my uncle truly brought us together. I started hearing words of admiration that I never witnessed coming from his lips. I yearned for these words. All my life. It changed me in ways that truly brought a tight bond between us. It’s amazing how little words do the biggest impact. We hear them all the time around us. From loved ones to partners to just casual liners. Nothing like this. Its a whiff of fresh air crackling between broken glass. It wakes you unexpectedly. You turn. You react. You feel. I was touched and the relationship with my father has never been better. Still is.
I was thrown for another loop. Not even 24-hours after my uncles burial. My heart dropped for an instant second. Honestly… it was 10-minutes. Shocked. My smartphone decided it was time to go too. I tried every trick in the book to restate my handheld friend. It wouldn’t give me what I needed. It reheat, turn bright blue, burn up and drop dead — literally. In the past year, I had some light issues with this phone that escalated to a more serious one. 1700 contacts lost, dating as far back when I made a name for myself as an Event Producer. 30 gigs of data, messages, ideas, notes and last memorable moments with my uncle. Gone.
My instant human behaviour would act to find a solution. Any resolution to bring it all back. Probably paid hundreds if not thousands dollars to retrieve what I can. That… didn’t happen. I decided to put my phone on the side, step back once again and reassessed the situation. Now I was a damaged product. I had a crack in me. What became my next step, defined the actions I took that led me to you.
Grateful to my photographic memory, I instantly created a trello board. It had one focus — Daily Chores. 8 lists. Each represented a treatment. On the left, Chores, Tasks and Dues to help me understand the importance and level of the task at hand. At the core, right at the centre — Visited, In Progress and Completed. It was very important to me to know what I was working on now and how much more left to deliver. And at the right, Saved and Archived. These are tasks that had a ritual, a routine. Like “Pay Visa”.
My memory and I began to drop cards. Each a task, filed under their appropriate lists. I remembered nearly everything that needed to go on my board and gave me purpose to tackle this new obstacle. Everything but, the 24 decent pieces that I originally planned for this medium.
By taking this decision, I removed all the dead weight and was able to sleep at night better.
With another monk fund in my disposal, I pushed for a new smartphone and left my more expensive carrier to a better option. Saving me an additional $50 a month for the same usage. It was in this moment I began to reflect — deep.
I realized, rather investing hours, days, maybe even months retrieving contacts — I should make new ones. I stepped back, and looked at myself again. I made the decision to keep what I have and build forward what I don’t. I added, “If I am important to them, they’ll reach out”. After-all, most-likely they still have my number. And so the journey to uncover friends and career contacts took an indefinite pause. And I, became a dear friend to time.
Today, 4 months out I am at 676 contacts. 40% of my original list. That means, 40% more real conversations and deep friendships. Honing this decision, I removed all the dead weight and was able to sleep at night better; and there I began to realize another layer to my psyche. Between my trello board, applying for a new career, having real friendships and getting better sleeps — I am not on dating apps anymore. The urge of finding someone is no longer my priority. I am a complete product — happy. Filled entirely by the joys I create, everyday.
With-it came my next decision. Giving me an aha-moment. I put myself forward. Career and personal development was very important to my total wellbeing. I made some quick decisions while in the new norm. Pulling from my monk fund, I invested in me. I knew it was time to hire a career coach. Together we spruced up my resume and gave life to my linkedin, and intentionally giving birth to me.
On top of my daily routine; I actively speak to companies, recruiters and find my way to interviews with every touch. I track my progress by looking at the data of 1000 companies that I can help scale as a Product Strategist— my innate speciality.
I got time to burn.
In the last few weeks leading to this post, I fell into a few random discussions with total strangers on number of topics — pertaining to our new normal. I heard what they have been doing to cope, change and overcome. Listening to their fears and how they become better. Some of course had opinions and theories. We are after-all dealing with the unknown. An alien bacteria who has done an excellent job to spook a nation, the world. Like we always do, we will stand strong and overcome. We will be better people. As individuals. To our better essence and true placement in this universe.
These last 5 months, I came to learn something I knew but never really affirmed. The fact is, I got time to burn and so do you. Without it, you wouldn’t have made it to the end of my very first post. The opening intro to my new handle, “timetoburn” and how I found you.
I like to personally acknowledge Adobe Max for reminding how much I miss being a creative. I dived 56 straight hours in sessions, even the ones in Japanese with barely any sleep in between. I was dazed and maybe a little high on content. I came out inspired and really ready to write this post. And there, was one specific talk by two unique artists that I connected most with. Pat Law and Akwafina.
In short, (late for that, I know!) — whatever it is, just press publish.
I am Tm (yes, that’s my name), I help early-stage startups and products grow, pivot, serve and get acquired. Drink coaster enthusiast and collector (that’s a thing — I know) and I got time to burn. See me spark.
